Freedom in Forgiveness

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
(Lewis B. Smedes)

When we’ve been hurt badly, it seems like the heavy ache in our hearts has taken up permanent residence, like uninvited guests who overstay their welcome. The ache in our hearts, the sorrow, is triggered in response to the suffering we go through. The circumstances surrounding our suffering will cause us to experience a myriad of negative emotions – sorrow, anger, fear, worry, despair, guilt, and frustration. We may even feel angry at God for allowing the suffering in our lives.

When others have caused our suffering, we can so easily sink into a pit of despair, harbouring resentment and anger towards those who have harmed us. We have difficulty letting go of these negative emotions. We feel that they don’t deserve our forgiveness.

I’m reminded of the tragic story of Chris Williams. In 2007, the car that he, his pregnant wife and three children were travelling in was hit by a car driven by a seventeen-year-old drunk driver, Cameron White. His wife, unborn baby, daughter and son were killed in the accident.

This is his own account of part of what he experienced immediately after the accident, when he realised that he and his son were the only survivors:

“I had no idea who had just hit us, and my mind didn’t think to consider if they (the driver and passengers of the other vehicle) were all right or not or what circumstances might have caused them to cross the median and strike us. I simply looked at the car in silence. My thoughts went quiet, I felt at peace, and then I heard a voice that was not my own in my mind as clearly as if it had come from someone seated next to me. It wasn’t a peaceful, whispered voice, nor was it the still, small prompting of the Spirit; it was straightforward and filled with power, and the voice said, “Let it go!”

I fixed my eyes on the overturned car. I immediately felt an enabling power beyond my own, healing and enlarging my crushed soul. I knew exactly what I had to do and exactly what those three words meant. Regardless of whoever had been driving the other car and regardless of whatever the circumstances behind this tragedy were, this was not my burden to carry. I was commanded in no uncertain terms not to try to pick it up.”

God gave Chris the instruction not to carry the burden of the tragedy himself, but to allow Him to carry it for him. This is, in fact, what God’s Word commands us to do in Psalm 55.

Pile your troubles on God’s shoulders—    he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out. He’ll never let good people topple into ruin. Psalm 55:22-23 (The Message Bible).

This is what Chris discovered when he let go of the heavy burden and gave it to God. Letting go of the burden didn’t mean that he didn’t struggle with despair and loneliness. It meant that he didn’t allow himself to wallow in his despair. Instead, he gave God room to have His way in His life. He turned to Jesus, a man whom the Bible describes in Isaiah as a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.

Isaiah 53:3 says,

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Like one from whom people hide their faces, he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.  

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.”

Jesus suffered and died for our sakes so that our sin, guilt and shame can be removed from us. So that we can be forgiven. Set free. Chris understood that the forgiveness and grace that he received from the Lord Jesus was what he needed to extend to Cameron White, the drunk driver who had taken away what was precious to him. So this is what he did.  He declared this to the Lord during his time of prayer. But he also made a public statement in which he said that, despite his deep loss caused by Cameron’s foolish act, he had forgiven him. Almost two years after the accident, he had the opportunity to meet Cameron and was able to personally tell him that he had forgiven him. This is what Chris said during the conversation: “If there is anything you have seen me do, or heard me say, or have read about me regarding forgiveness, you should know that it was merely the Saviour working through me.” 

When we are faced with suffering and hardship, we may find it difficult to let go and forgive. But when we allow our Saviour, Jesus Christ, to work through us, when we look to Jesus and give our despair, anger and resentment to Him, when we pile our burdens on Him, He will give us the strength to extend grace and mercy and to forgive those who have harmed us. This will unshackle us from the past and help us move forward with our lives.

When we do, we will have the power to understand more fully the freedom that we have in Jesus. We will have the power to grasp how long, how high, and how deep his love is for us. When we have grasped this, we will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. This fullness of power includes the power to love, to extend grace and mercy and to forgive.

This is what Paul prayed for the church in Ephesus. He says in Ephesians 3:18-19

“And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”

God promises us fullness of life, an abundant life where His peace, strength and love carry us. Forgiving others and receiving His healing and restoration sets us free to live in the fullness and power that God has promised us.

“We are to forgive so that we may enjoy God’s goodness without feeling the weight of anger burning deep within our hearts. Forgiveness does not mean we recant the fact that what happened to us was wrong. Instead, we roll our burdens onto the Lord and allow Him to carry them for us.” – Charles Stanley

 Reflection:

Are there events in your life that have caused you suffering, shackling you to the past and preventing you from moving forward? Write them down and give these burdens to the Lord. You aren't meant to carry them yourself.

Are there people in your life that you need to forgive? Ask God to give you the strength and love to forgive them.

Prayer

Father, I come to you with my pain, anger, resentment and despair. I am tired of carrying them myself. I give them to you. Take them from me. Release me from the shackles that are binding me to the past. Give me the strength to extend grace to those who have hurt me and to forgive them. Show me how I can live in the fullness of life that you have promised me. In Jesus’ name, amen.