Self -Pity – Starving the Negative Emotions
God's people must not love their soul life even to the point of death. Unless self-love or self-pity is committed to the cross, they shall surely be defeated by the adversary. Watchman Nee
Self-pity does not exist in isolation. Self-pity feeds off negative emotions that result in us having a perspective of “woe is me.” When we allow these negative emotions to have their way, self-pity will continue to have its grip on our lives. Detaching ourselves from its grip requires an introspective attitude. It requires self-examination. This isn’t always easy, but when we surrender our self-pity to the Lord and allow the Holy Spirit to convict us, He will give us the wisdom we need to be released from these negative emotions. Several emotions give rise to self-pity. We look at one of them - pride and arrogance, which can be seen as the root of other negative emotions.
Pride and arrogance
Our pride can cause us to have an attitude of entitlement. We feel we have a right to certain things, and when we don’t get them, we can so easily slip into self-pity. This was the case with King Saul, who was chosen of God to rule over the Israelites when they asked for a king (1 Samuel 9 &10). His kingship was, however, taken from him when he disobeyed God (1 Samuel 15:23). When David was anointed King of Israel, King Saul adopted an attitude of entitlement. He held on to what he thought was his. This cost him dearly not only in his relationship with the Lord, but it also affected his mental health. He became restless, suffered from bouts of depression and wallowed in self-pity.
Saul’s attitude of pride and entitlement is in stark contrast to that of David. When David was anointed king, he was unable to ascend the throne because Saul refused to surrender the throne. David’s posture during this time of waiting was one of humility. He didn’t forcibly remove or kill Saul even when he had the chance to do so (1 Samuel 24). He gracefully waited for God to instate him as king in His time. David became a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14), whose rule was marked by God’s favour and faithfulness.
It is not always easy for us to be aware of our pride and arrogance. But when we spend time in prayer with the Lord and ask Him to reveal any negative emotions we may be harbouring in our hearts, He will reveal them to us, including pride and arrogance. When the Lord exposes this, we can surrender our pride and arrogance to Him and allow the Holy Spirit to help us walk humbly before Him and others.
Micah 6:8 says,
“He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”
This is what God requires of us - Do what is right in the eyes of the Lord, be kind to others and walk in humility. This verse of scripture encapsulates important antidotes to self-pity that will starve the negative emotions on which self-pity feeds.
Reflection
Take time to think about any negative emotions that you might be harbouring that your self-pity might be feeding on. Think about what you can do to starve these negative emotions.
Prayer
Dear lord Jesus, I ask You to reveal the negative emotions that are causing me to wallow in self-pity. I release them to You. Show me, Lord, how to deal with them so that I can be released from self-pity. Heal me from these negative emotions so that I can walk humbly and with integrity before You. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
